The male specific concerns the great bulk of males struggle with are associated with divorce, dating, relationships, marriage, unemployment, raising children, and their inability to access and communicate their feelings. Each one of these issues can best be solved in small, confidential groups with other men. It is entirely unnecessary for men to get into unique therapy if they're faced with these problems. What I have learned more than twenty years working with men is the fact that under the appropriate conditions, men are eminently effective at working in concert to resolve the issues mentioned. Therapists do not play any role in this particular work.
Moving into therapy to resolve
all of these issues is wrong on 2 fronts. First, therapy is pricey, but sometimes that would be okay if therapy were a reliable, successful option for men's issues. It is not by any stretch. Second, male therapists don't know some more about manhood issues than laymen. Male therapists wrestle with all of the exact same concerns other men battle with because treatment has no relevance dealing with the problems described. The truth is, male therapists' studying psychology is irrelevant. Men have to think the responsibility for their own mental well-being.
Every single male which dug deep and did the job in my men's group changed the behavior of his by working through his issues with other men. That's worth repeating. Each and every male who did the repair, succeeded. There are no therapists who have anywhere near that level of success dealing with male's issues. And even worse, when therapists lead men's groups, they're not men's groups, but group treatment instead. Therapists, who lead men's group, rob the guys in that group of the opportunity to solve the issues of theirs collectively and find out about themselves in the process.
Male's groups do not need a leader of any kind, therapist or otherwise. There's no necessity for leadership because men can succeed far better without one. Leading men's groups is a company for therapists, and men's groups should not be about business. A man in a therapist led class pays for each facilitated conference he attends, and that's simply incorrect. When males share their real life experiences on an emotional level, the results are vastly superior to any psychological help. males are blood and flesh, not statistics or maybe case studies, and every male in a men's staff must be an equal. When a leader assumes a role of power, the males in the group become his patients or customers, and considering that therapists do not know some more about the manhood of theirs than other males, that's definitely wrong-headed.
The work men accomplish in small groups of eight is different from group treatment. Many of the work is related to men teaching one another what appropriate male behavior means and the way to become better men. They manage this step through the emotional sharing of their experiences. A male going by having a divorce doesn't require a therapist to inform him he's in pain or that he should focus on the way he's feeling. What that man will benefit most from is reading from various other men that have gone through divorce who could share, on a psychological foundation, how they felt, the things they did that worked, and what didn't work. He can hear just how other males in his circumstance handled the devastating fallout from divorce. That male's pain, anger, child rearing fears, dating, as well ex-wife issues, can be best answered by men that suffered them, worked through them, and moved beyond them. That info is invaluable, and is as offered as the following time the group meets. Men are already meeting together in groups which are small as mine for decades, albeit in small numbers.
Shared emotional experience isn't exactly the same as advice, as it's solely based on what a male thinks, not what he thinks. Recommendation has practically nothing to do with thoughts. Recommendation is an opinion, and usually starts off with the text, "You should". Recommendation is the lowest form of discussion because opinions are arguable. A man sharing how he feels just isn't offering the opinion of his. His feelings are his absolute fact. No person is able to argue about a male's feelings simply because that info is genuine when it comes through his heart, not his head.
The trouble is getting males to notice the enormous value of whatever they already know. Eight, forty-year old men sitting together can share more than three hundred years of real world experience. That's an encyclopedia of male behavior a team can a diabetic take male enhancement pills, visit the next post
, tap. Not a single thing is as relevant and real as males sharing the stories of theirs on a psychological level.
What most men expect or think holds true about men's group is incorrect. men stay away from emotional intimacy with each other as they have grown weary from years of listening to men who usually supply them lots of advice, criticism, and judgment. Men do not trust each other due to how they've been treated by other men. There's no trust in relationships that are shallow. Men understand it's better to keep the problems of theirs to themselves to stay away from an onslaught of advice.